As a co-dependent for most of my life I had based most of my happiness on other people. I knew first hand that the happiness fairy would not be knocking at my door. In fact, I very rarely experienced happiness as a child and drew on the concept that it was other people and/or circumstances that where responsible for my happiness. I lived most of my life feeling helpless and not in control of my life. It wasn’t until I began taking responsibility for my actions, by finding my part in every situation, that I was able to comprehend the idea that I was actually responsible for how I thought, felt, and my own happiness.
The last 2 years has been a journey of self-discovery and change. I have “eliminated emotional contamination” by changing the way I perceive each situation and furthermore changing my attitude. By no longer focusing the blame onto others and myself for my circumstances, I accept my part and learn to forgive. Once I can forgive then I am free to live in gratitude.
Maintaining an attitude of gratitude is easier said than done. When I feel myself start to spiral down into blame or a pity party of despair I remind myself of all that I am grateful for today. Once back into an attitude of gratitude I find myself constantly thankful for the simplest of things. I find pleasure from the wind in my hair to the look on my daughter’s face when she is contemplating how to put a sentence together. The simple things in life are what give me the most joy and take precedence over any struggle as I am reminded that, in fact, the simple things are what are most important, for they are the things that give me joy.
I find a renewed strength in shifting my focus from negative to positive, and when I start to get discouraged and am in doubt I say a prayer of gratitude for the things yet to come and am encouraged once again. I can do this at least once a day but I find myself doing it more and more and it is becoming almost habitual. This ability to be grateful is proof that change can be concrete and positively impact what was once so detrimentally negative in my life. This change had to be an inward change and now I find myself learning to be active in self-care as well, not just an inward soul care but caring for my body as well. Recognizing when I need a break and doing things that will make me feel good and healthy will complete the cycle of change in creating happiness in my life. When I take the time to de-stress and have some fun and actually relax and reflect, I find a sense of freedom and refreshment and more time to focus on the things that make me happy purposefully.
M. Fawn Saylor
March 16, 2015
The last 2 years has been a journey of self-discovery and change. I have “eliminated emotional contamination” by changing the way I perceive each situation and furthermore changing my attitude. By no longer focusing the blame onto others and myself for my circumstances, I accept my part and learn to forgive. Once I can forgive then I am free to live in gratitude.
Maintaining an attitude of gratitude is easier said than done. When I feel myself start to spiral down into blame or a pity party of despair I remind myself of all that I am grateful for today. Once back into an attitude of gratitude I find myself constantly thankful for the simplest of things. I find pleasure from the wind in my hair to the look on my daughter’s face when she is contemplating how to put a sentence together. The simple things in life are what give me the most joy and take precedence over any struggle as I am reminded that, in fact, the simple things are what are most important, for they are the things that give me joy.
I find a renewed strength in shifting my focus from negative to positive, and when I start to get discouraged and am in doubt I say a prayer of gratitude for the things yet to come and am encouraged once again. I can do this at least once a day but I find myself doing it more and more and it is becoming almost habitual. This ability to be grateful is proof that change can be concrete and positively impact what was once so detrimentally negative in my life. This change had to be an inward change and now I find myself learning to be active in self-care as well, not just an inward soul care but caring for my body as well. Recognizing when I need a break and doing things that will make me feel good and healthy will complete the cycle of change in creating happiness in my life. When I take the time to de-stress and have some fun and actually relax and reflect, I find a sense of freedom and refreshment and more time to focus on the things that make me happy purposefully.
M. Fawn Saylor
March 16, 2015
His Precious Daughter 