I recognize the importance in helping others and understand that in doing so, it helps me. The biggest part of my recovery from the Victim mentality was found in helping other victims. As a survivor of sexual exploitation and domestic violence, I have found that it is essential for my own self-healing to be a healer of others that have gone through, or are still going through, what I and a few others have experience…d. Unfortunately I did not just arrive at this conclusion all of a sudden. It took a lot of time healing and recognizing my part and forgiving myself and others. I had to first recognize that I was not a Victim any longer. I say Victim with a capital V because it is the self-made victim I am referring to, meaning; I was victimized, but, continue to be a victim by staying in the hurt and blaming society for my problems. By being able to see my part and accept responsibility, I could finally forgive myself and my abusers.
Having experienced the things that I have leads me to be especially empathetic for anyone going through it. It gives me an ability to step inside their world of hurt and use my experience to help them turn it around for the better. Not only have I become empathetic to their needs but I have a strong longing to be there for them. I feel like it is my duty and in doing so I further my recovery process.
I’m not helping others to help myself though. I’m genuinely concerned for others, and I think that that is the key to the reward in helping others. I cannot imagine doing it with a selfish motive. The end result would not be the same. I’m not sure how to explain it, but, if it is all self-motivated how are you really helping the other person?
M. Fawn Saylor

March 2015