These bars…..gilded….but stained with the many colors of experience….looking through the cracks…searching…so many different emotions flow through each day…the door to my lifes cage is open though…as it has always been…. only stuck by the fear to rebel against my own rules…comfortable in the luxury of being on my own….but underneath it all….trying to find the courage to allow myself to feel safe enough to really love and trust again…..each time I venture out the doorway….I’m knocked back in by the residue of past betrayal bonds….and I can not leave…..grasping at the hope of life, love, and the opportunities I see outside of this pre-written repeating script…the smell of real connection so near….a whole family…I can almost taste it…..my season of relational rest and security……a form of freedom unknown to me…so…for now…..no escape I see to truly claim what I want…so I wait…..feeling stuck in a pattern of self sacrifice and empathy….caring for the needs of those dependent on me…..loving that giving part of me…because….I’m lucky to have a heart that cares…..but at the same time….wishing for a different life…. hearing the call from above…I stay….charged with my orders to serve….not your time yet I hear….again and again…..a lady in waiting…..someday it will be my turn….dressed in white…cared for…..pursued…cherished….pulled from the mundane…..dancing in the freedom I’ll never stop chasing….and finally….that day…..the Cinderella in me…. will be free.