Early childhood sexual abuse and then rape by the age of 14 pushed my fragile mind and vulnerable body into the arms of exploitation after running away from home at 15. Over the next 17 years, I experienced both labor and sex  trafficking, commercial sexual exploitation, domestic violence, and servitude. I was labor trafficked 3 times before the age of 18, and as an adult, due to my grooming and volnurability to sexual exploitation, by the age of 21 I had fallen deeply into commercial sexual exploitation through legal chanels of prostitution via strip clubs and escort services. I nearly lost my life at the hands of sex buyers on more than one occasion during this period. I was trapped in a system of prostitution that I thought I could control, but in truth, I was nothing more than an object for sale. Nothing more than a body to be used by men as they saw fit…..but I learned very young that that’s what men want.
When money changed hands, I was expected to comply with every whim and desire, and it never truly felt like consent. If I refused to comply, I was beat or strangled, and then finally…at the age of 22… left for dead. As an adult adapted to my life, I had fleeting moments of false empowerment as I could sometimes have the final say in who, what, when, and where….but this wasn’t empowerment,….it was SURVIVAL…and then finally….through legal avenues of sexual exploitation, I was trafficked again…only this time for sex. I escaped after another near death experience at the hands of a buyer and walked away from that industry entirely….only to fall victim to DV and then labor trafficking once more and forced servitude. This time…taken across state lines all over the US. Now 30 years old, stuck in this life I thought I could not escape, pregnant and hopeless, my only way out was to try and take my life.

My whole life until this point, I  felt as if I was screaming inside for something to change, for a real chance at a life of happiness…whatever that was. I did not know..nor could Idare to dream of my life ahead far removed…but I survived…and at last…I made it out…for as a young mother…I had to find a way to keep my baby girl safe…so a month before her first birthday, I found an out after another beating, and I fled and never looked back.

Today I barely recognize the woman and girl I once was, for I found myself with real purpose…that of being a mother, and that purpose grew not only to protect her, but now to safegaurd ever other woman and girl finding themselves abandoned by systems that were meant to keep them safe, and cast aside by those they loved, left to be used for sexual gratification by the rest of the world that feeds off of their loss, volnurability, and pain.
For far too long, we’ve let people view sex trafficking and prostitution as something separate or as a vitimless or non serious crime, but not as a form of gender-based violence. Not as inherently harmful as it is. Making excuses for those who benefit the most when legislation ignores our pleas and looks the other way. In reality it’s, extreme violence against women and girls like me, and until laws like the survival model are passed, we will continue to be abused and lose our lives while society turns a blind eye to its complicity as it allows perpetrators to go unchecked. Too long these systems have revictimised by adding blame on the exploited and enough is enough. We have had enough. We are dying out here.

The survivor model is the way, and it doesn’t just provide exit from exploitation, but assistance  with funding for victim support straight from the pockets that purchased us and relieves financial burden from the state. It ensures that there are stronger legal tools to target the predators who think they can buy and sell human lives. It also educates our communities and breaks down the normalization of one of the oldest forms of oppression of women and girls.

Hear us now. We can not waste any more time debating the difference between sex trafficking and the harms of prostitution or whether or not there is agency in it, because while you do….we keep dying. DO NO HARM. Listen to survivors and send a clear message to victims that they are heard, seen, and valued.

I’m am long past the pain of what I’ve endured but I’m still screaming inside…only now from the frustration I feel at all the ears that refuse to hear the truth about the harms of prostitution and other forms of exploitation. I’m calling out for help from all of you now… all of you in seats that have the power to offer us hope and safety. I’m calling out for all the Me’s out there still fighting to survive. HELP US. SAVE US. RESCUE US. For those still stuck, do not know the way.