Lord, I want to be utterly undone by You. Not by the weight of this world, Not by the burdens I have carried, Not by the wounds that once defined me, But by the overwhelming beauty Of simply being loved by You.

I want to come before You With nothing left to prove, No carefully chosen words, No strength I must pretend to have, No walls around the tender places I’ve spent a lifetime learning how to hide.

Just me, Lord. Just me and You.

I want to sit so quietly in Your presence That the noise of this world loses its voice, Where the demands of life fall silent, And my soul remembers That before I was called to do anything, I was simply called to be Yours.

Lord, I have spent so much of my life Learning how to hold myself together, How to be strong when I was breaking, How to stand when I wanted to fall, How to carry what was never meant For these two hands to hold.

But here, in the stillness of Your presence, I don’t want to hold myself together anymore.

I want to be undone.

Undo the fear that taught me to hide. Undo the pride that taught me to strive. Undo the lies that whispered I was unworthy. Undo the need to understand everything Before I trust the One who knows it all.

Unravel every thread Of who I thought I had to become, Until all that remains Is who You created me to be.

And Lord, In the places of my heart Where disappointment has quietly settled, Where prayers unanswered Have made me hesitant to hope, Where yesterday’s pain Has stolen tomorrow’s expectation, Would You meet me there?

…Meet me with the tenderness Of a Father who has never stopped reaching For the child He has always loved.

Because I don’t want to merely know about You. I want to know You.

I want to recognize Your whisper Before the world begins to shout. I want to find You in the ordinary, In the first light through my window, In the warmth of a familiar embrace, In the sacred silence between my prayers.

I want to love You When the answers do not come. To trust You When the path is hidden. To worship You When the miracle I hoped for Looks different from the one You give.

I want a faith that reaches deeper Than what my eyes can see, A love that isn’t shaken By what life may ask of me.

And Jesus, When I say I surrender, Teach me what surrender truly means.

Because sometimes I lay my burdens down Only to gather them up again. Sometimes I open up my hands While still trying to control the outcome. Sometimes I say, “Your will be done,” While quietly hoping Your will looks just like mine.

Forgive me, Lord.

I don’t want to invite You Into only the rooms of my heart That I’ve made beautiful for Your arrival.

Come into the unfinished places. The dusty corners of old grief. The rooms where memories still echo. The hidden spaces where I have wondered Whether even Your love could reach.

Come into all of it…

And Thank You Father…

For I do not need to make myself worthy Of a presence that has never abandoned me.

You were there in the wilderness. You were there in the waiting. You were there when my prayers Were nothing more than tears. And You were there when I could not recognize That it was Your hand sustaining me.

How many times, Lord, Have You carried me While I was still searching for You?

How many times have You answered With peace instead of explanation? With presence instead of escape? With enough grace for one more day When I was begging You To show me the entire road ahead?

And yet, here I am.

Still learning. Still growing. Still discovering the depths Of a love I will never fully comprehend This side of heaven.

And perhaps that is the beauty of it all.

That I could spend a thousand lifetimes Seeking the depths of Your heart, And still find myself astonished By another measure of Your goodness.

So today, Lord, I am not asking You To make my life more impressive. I am not asking for a greater platform, A louder voice, Or another mountain to conquer.

I am asking for more of You.

Simply just more of Your presence Than my distractions. More of Your wisdom Than my understanding. More of Your peace Than my need for certainty. More of Your heart Than all the things competing for mine.

And if knowing You more deeply Means surrendering what I once believed I could never live without, Then loosen my grip.

If loving You more fully Means laying down the version of myself That has learned to survive without resting, Then teach me how to rest.

If becoming more like You Means being broken open So Your light can reach What I have kept concealed, Then let it be a holy breaking.

Not a breaking that destroys, But one that makes room.

Room for mercy. Room for wonder. Room for joy that doesn’t need permission From the circumstances of my life.

Room for the kind of love That changes everything Without demanding anything But an open heart.

Jesus, I want to be so overwhelmed By the reality of who You are That my fears lose their authority, My striving loses its purpose, And my soul finds its home In the One who has always called me by name.

I want to weep Not because life has wounded me, But because Your goodness has found me.

I want to fall to my knees Not because I have been defeated, But because I have finally understood That surrender to You Is the sweetest freedom This heart will ever know.

So have Your way in me, Lord.

Not just in the parts of my life That others can see, But in the quiet, unseen places Where true transformation begins.

Change what needs changing. Heal what needs healing. Awaken what has fallen asleep. And teach my heart to remain Soft enough to hear You, Humble enough to follow You, And courageous enough to trust You.

And when I rise from this sacred place, When the world grows loud again, When responsibilities return And the ordinary moments unfold, May I carry this stillness within me.

May my life become a quiet testimony That I have been with Jesus.

Not because I have mastered every struggle, Not because I never stumble, Not because I have all the answers,

But because somewhere In the beautiful surrender Of being fully known And completely loved, I stopped trying to become enough And began resting In the One who always was.

Lord, I just want to be undone by You.

Undone by Your holiness. Undone by Your mercy. Undone by the wonder That the Creator of heaven and earth Would desire the heart of someone like me.

And when everything else fades, When every title, every accomplishment, Every earthly thing I have held dear Has passed away,

Let this remain:

That I loved You. That I sought after You. That I learned to recognize Your voice. And that I gave You my whole heart, Not because You demanded perfection, But because Your perfect love Made surrender beautiful.

So here I am again, Jesus.

No walls. No striving. No pretending.

Just a heart wide open, A soul longing for heaven, And a whispered prayer That will never grow old.

Lord, I just want to be undone by You.

Until there is less of what I have made of myself, And more of who You have always been in me.

Amen.